


Spend Christmas Eve Eve With Me

by phancuddleswithstyles



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M, Sleepy Cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 16:29:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5504756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phancuddleswithstyles/pseuds/phancuddleswithstyles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's christmas 2010. Phil wants to spend christmas eve eve with his best friend Dan. The day helps both boys realise what their exact feelings for eachother actually are.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spend Christmas Eve Eve With Me

**Author's Note:**

> This was only meant to be a drabble about baubles and i was gonna be all punny and call it bauble trouble but BAM i kept going and now it's the longest fic i've ever written. Holy shit. Idek. Anyway, i hope you enjoy and lemme know what ya think :)  
> You can also read my fics on my tumblr, where i have the same username as here, phancuddleswithstyles

"What about this?" Dan asked, holding up a box of black and brown baubles in his hand. Phil shook his head and gave Dan a disapproving look.  
"I don't want black decorations Dan. It's christmas, not a funeral! And brown? You're joking, right?"  
"Alright grandma, no need to get sassy." Dan frowned and placed the box carefully back on the shelf.

It was december, and this year would be Phil's first christmas in his own apartment. Technically, he wouldn't spend christmas day there. He would obviously do the short trip back to his childhood home to spend the holidays with his family. However, he did not want his home to lack festivity for the rest of the month. He'd already been procrastinating for far too long. Christmas day was only a little over a week away, and his home had absolutely zero decorations.  
The problem was, Phil knew nothing about decorations. He was a 23 yearold guy, not an interior designer. Hence why Phil had brought his best friend Dan along to the store to help him with the hunt for decorations.

Not that Dan was much help. The teenager had suggested the most rubbish things ever so far. Dan had basically just pointed at everything black or just plain weird. As much as Phil wanted to avoid his home being turned into a grandma's house, he just couldn't accept black baubles or strange 'artistic' things, as Dan called it, into his life.

"C'mon Phil, you have to admit that this is awesome!" Dan proudly shoved a string of black tinsel in Phil's face. Phil stumbled backwards, and he sighed deeply when his eyes had focused on the object showed to him.  
"You can't be serious? Dan, there's frickin' skulls on it! That’s clearly left over tinsel for halloween." Phil explained.  
Dan shrugged. "Yeah, but so what? It's different. It's cool. Edgy." Dan stated innocently with excitement in his voice.  
A glance at Phil's annoyed expression was all he needed to admit defeat. This time, it was his turn to sigh a bit too loudly for the quiet shop. Dan chucked the tinsel back in the 'sale' basket and carried on walking down the aisle. Albeit with the body language of a spoilt child who wasn't allowed the toy they wanted. Dan's steps were heavy and dragged out, and his hands were shoved firmly in his pockets instead of stroking every item of the shop, as he had done previously. Phil could've even sworn he'd catched a glimpse of a pout hidden under the long fringe.

After strolling through atleast three more aisles in silence, Dan spoke up again.  
"I don't understand why you invited me here anyway. I can happily go back to my dorm right now if you're just gonna argue about everything I say. I'm not your personal fucking interior designer you know." he muttered, sending Phil the evil eye. Phil stopped in the middle of the aisle, and Dan did the same.  
"Please don't be angry at me Dan. I'm just stressed, okay? It's christmas day in less than two weeks and I still don't have any decorations! I want the first christmas at my own place to be perfect. I need it to be perfect. I'm sorry, but your suggestions aren't exactly helping me."  
Dan's face softened as he glanced at Phil with a look of guilt.  
"I'm being childish again, aren't I?" Dan asked in a sad tone whilst looking down at his feet. Phil shook his head even though the brunet wasn't looking.  
"You're not childish Dan. You're just being you. I like you. I wouldn't be your best friend if I didn't." Phil assured him. Dan looked up again, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.  
"Who says you're my best friend? I'm at uni Phil, I have uni friends." Dan said casually. Phil chuckled, knowing that Dan was only bluffing. Dan often complained to him that he didn't really like any of his so called 'friends' at university.  
"Oh really? So that's why you spend all your spare time at my place instead of with your other best friends?"  
Dan flicked his hair in an attempt to hide the blush spreading across his cheeks.  
"Shut up” Dan giggled. “We're here to buy some festive shit for your man cave, not to discuss my loneliness. Okay?"

Phil grinned in triumph. He couldn't help but feel the familiar butterflies in his stomach when Dan talked about their friendship. Just hearing the other talk about his loneliness and knowing that he made Dan feel less alone, was enough to almost make Phil's heart burst of adoration. He craved to let the other boy know that the feeling was mutual. But for now, he needed to continue preparing for the big moment he'd planned for them.

"Well, I don't think we're gonna find anything remotely nice in here. So how about we go back home and order some online instead?" Phil suggested.  
"Sounds like a great plan to me. I can't stand another minute in here." Dan agreed.

 

After only an hour of browsing on Phil's couch, the two boys had finally made some purchases. It was a messy mix of tinsel, traditional baubles, weird dorky baubles, a christmas wreath, and even a star to go on top of the tree. It would probably look like a complete mess, but Phil didn't want a perfect home taken from his mother's interior magazines. He wanted it to be personal. He wanted it to be a bit dorky and weird, just like him and Dan. He wanted it to feel like their home. Phil wanted a taste of what it would be like to share a festive home with his best friend.

Not that they weren't already sharing a home. Dan really did spend all his spare time at Phil's place. Whether it was to actually study, or to play video games, or to have mental breakdowns over school. Dan was always there. So much that Phil had his cheap guest bed permanently set up in the corner of his own bedroom. They would always stay up way too late at night, and by then Phil would refuse to let Dan go out by himself to get back to his dorm. Not that they lived in very criminal areas, but Phil would still be worried sick if Dan went out on his own. And Dan, the guy who was still afraid of the dark, was always happy to oblige to stay the night.  
He stayed most nights by now. And the nights where he didn't, everything felt so wrong. Dan's creaky bed was a part of Phil's bedroom now. When the spare bed was empty, his room felt empty. His entire apartment felt empty. He, himself, felt empty. 

Phil wasn't even fully sure what his feelings towards Dan were. He knew it was love in some way. But was it purely platonic love? Or was it romantic love? Phil didn't know. He knew that he didn't want to spend a minute of his life without Dan by his side. Maybe kisses and cuddles, or even anything further, with Dan would be nice. Actually, Phil was pretty sure that it would be really nice, and that that’s what he wanted. But he was also pretty sure that Dan's feelings were purely platonic. That “best friends” was all they would ever be.

Speaking of Dan, Phil still hadn't worked up the courage to ask Dan the important question he'd been sitting on for weeks now. Phil had told himself that he just hadn't found the right moment yet. Which was a total lie.  
He didn't even know why he was nervous. It was a silly question really. It wasn't anything major. Except, well, it was. Atleast to Phil.

The idea had popped into Phil's head about a month ago. Dan's last day of university for this year was 3 days before christmas day. Dan was obviously gonna spend the holidays with his family down south, and he was set to leave Manchester on christmas eve. That gave him a full day, christmas eve eve, with nothing to do. Dan's only plans for the day was to go to some themed night at a pub with a bunch of people from uni. A plan that Dan had complained about to Phil countless times ever since he'd found out about it. Phil could only agree. He wouldn't be too keen on spending hours at a crowded pub with loud christmas music on repeat either. That's when Phil's plan began to form.

Phil was also leaving on christmas eve. Phil had the whole day before that to himself aswell. After their rubbish attempt at celebrating chritsmas “together” last year, which had consisted of them trying to skype eachother while Dan was in India, and they saw eachother as approximately 5 pixels for 10 minutes before Dan's internet had died, Phil wanted this year to be special. He wanted nothing more than for them to have a mini christmas together before they took off in different directions until new years eve.  
It was a rather harmless wish really. But Phil still couldn't help but feel extremely nervous about it. It felt so formal. Too formal. Was he overstepping a line? Was it normal for friends to have a mini christmas together by themselves? Parties, sure. But this wasn't meant to be a party. They were only two people. Phil had never done anything like that with other friends before. But with Dan, it felt right. The thought of them trying to cook a christmas meal together. Playing video games all day. Watch cheesy movies. See Dan's face in 3D as he opened his presents, and not in 5 pixels on the other side of the world. Yeah, deep down, it felt right.

But Phil was running out of time. It was barely a week left. He had to do it now. Now was as good time as ever. Both boys were sat on Phil's sofa, focusing on the laptops placed on their laps. All that could be heard was his own loud heartbeat and Dan's aimless clicking.  
Dan looked like he was almost falling asleep. His hair was a bit of a mess from leaning on the sofa for too long. His completely black t-shirt and checkered pj bottoms gave away that he was planning on staying the night. The simple fact put a smile on Phil's face before he pulled himself together to get on with it.

"Uhm, Dan?"  
"Yeah?" Dan didn't bother taking his heavy eyes away from the screen.  
"I need to talk to you about something." Phil felt his breathing quicken. Dan sensed the slight seriousness in the others voice and turned his attention fully to his friend.  
"About what? Are you kicking me out?" Dan chuckled, but there was a hint of worry in his eyes. Phil shook his head and laughed too, appreciating his friend's attempt to lighten the mood.  
"No, it's actually quite the opposite."  
Dan shot him a confused look. In that moment, Phil wished that he'd worn a jumper so that he could've hidden his nervous fiddling with his hands. They were probably shaking too.  
"You know how you're going to the pub next week with your uni mates." he began. Dan nodded.  
"Don't even get me started on that, I have so many opinions, and you know what i'm like with opinions." Dan rolled his eyes at himself. Phil grinned. He knew all too well how passionate Dan could get about his opinions. He'd fallen asleep to Dan's endless rants about the most ridiculous topics many times.  
"You're very...passionate." Phil tried to find a word that wouldn't offend his friend too much.  
"That's a nice way to put it." Dan snorted. "But yeah, I know what you mean. What about the pub? You've finally decided to come with me so we can suffer together? Please Phil, I can't take 4 hours of Michael Bublé on repeat and pub quizzes by myself." Dan begged with hope in his voice. Phil laughed at Dan's attempted puppy eyes. He would never admit it, but he'd probably do anything Dan begged for when he gives him that look. Not this time however.

"Sorry mate, I have a limit, and that would push that limit." Dan pouted at his friend's words.  
"However, I have another suggestion. A suggestion that might interest you." Dan perked up.  
"Go on, I'm listening." He urged, eager to hear what Phil was suggesting.  
"I mean, it's not that special. Or important. At all. You can do what you want, okay? You don't have to say yes. It's your life Dan. You are a person with opinions and a life, and I would never want to ruin your university experience. You know that, right? I already worry about it all the time and-"  
"Oh for god's sake Phil, just spit it out will ya? I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about.” Dan groaned in annoyance. But there was a fondness in his voice.  
"Sorry." Phil blushed at his awkwardness.  
"It's okay. But seriously, the suspense is killing me over here so hurry up." Dan smiled softly.

Phil took a deep breath. He tried to be discrete and hide how nervous he was, but he could've sworn he wasn't doing a very good job at it. But it was now or never.  
"Would...uhm...would you like to spend christmas eve eve with me?"  
Dan stared in silence at Phil for what felt like forever, but must've been less than 5 seconds.  
"Are you serious?" Dan's voice cracked of excitement. "Here? On christmas eve eve? With you?"  
Phil gulped. "Yeah? Like I said, you really don't have to. I wouldn't wanna come between you and your uni friends."  
"Is it a party or like, just us?" Dan interrupted.  
"Just us?" Phil's answer sounded more like a question. He chewed on his lower lip. A nervous habit of his. Dan subconsciously tapped on it with his index finger as a way to make him stop. He stopped immediately.  
"Is that...weird?" Phil continued. Dan shrugged.  
"I don't see why it would be weird." Phil let out a shaky breath of relief.  
"I just thought, after our christmas failure last year with India and all that, I just thought it could be nice. I don't know." Phil shrugged. "Like a mini christmas? I thought we could try to make some festive food and watch movies all day. Stuff like that. If you want to."  
"Are you kidding me Phil?” Dan laughed. “How hard do you think that decision is for me? Suffering alone at a pub or be here with you?"  
Dan didn't mean for the last part to sound so intimate and emotional. He hoped that Phil didn't notice his choice of words.

But Phil did notice, and he felt like his heart was gonna burst again. He knew that it was most likely an accident for Dan’s words to sound so sweet, but he couldn't help but melt at the fact that it was such an easy question for Dan.

"Okay then." Phil broke the short silence that had occurred.  
“I thought you were going home in only a couple of days though?” Dan asked. Phil shook his head.  
“I was originally going to, but my family aren’t gonna miss me too much if I stay here for just one more day." Phil assured him.  
”If you say so.” Dan said happily. “What are we gonna do though?”  
"Anything we want. My only rules are that everything we do has to be super festive. And I'm totally gonna make you wear a santa hat all day." Phil smirked and winked playfully. Or, atleast he tried to wink, but it ended up looking more like he had a stroke.  
"Oh hell no you're not." Dan exclaimed. Phil grinned even wider.  
"Oh hell yes I am. You just wait and see Howell."  
Dan gasped and put his hand on his chest for added effect.  
"Oh you're on Lester."

Dan suddenly launched himself onto Phil. He yelped, surprised by Dan's actions. He yelped a second time as they both began slipping off the leather sofa. They both landed on the soft carpet with a thump. They stared at eachother for a brief moment, just to make sure that the other was okay. Dan's entire body weight laid pressed against Phil, as Dan had landed on top of him. Phil forgot how to breathe for a second or two.  
He never got the time to worry about his lack of breathing however, as Dan's smirk quickly returned, and he started playfully wrestling Phil.

Neither had any idea who'd won their wrestling match minutes later when they both laid spread out on the floor. Both were exhausted from basically just rolling around the entire living room for less than 5 minutes. Perhaps they shouldn't ignore their gym memberships after all.

"You still wanna try getting a santa hat on me Lester?" Dan challenged.  
"You don't scare me Howell. Remember, I'm older than you." Phil stated proudly. Dan snorted.  
"Really Phil? You're playing the 'I'm older than you' game? C'mon, are you 5?"  
"No, but you are. Baby." Phil mocked, lingering on the last word to annoy his friend. Dan turned his head to look at the other man who had a big grin plastered on his face, clearly proud of his comment. Phil reached his hand out and ruffled the younger's hair. Dan protested by wiggling away as much as he could on the floor whilst squealing.  
"Little baby is gonna wear a santa hat because I'm the oldest so I get to make the final decision." Phil mocked in a baby voice.  
He laughed and let go of the other’s curls. Dan tried his best to make his hair look normal again. Although, it didn’t whatsoever. It was still a complete mess and beyond saving at this point. But Phil loved it. It was in moments like this that Phil truly wished that he could burn every single hair straightener in the entire world.  
"Yeah right, we'll see about that." Dan muttered in a fake annoyed voice.

Dan wiggled back so that he was laying closer to Phil again. Neither boy felt like getting up any time soon. The gap between their bodies was almost non existent.  
In a brief moment of courage, Phil angled his head so that he was leaning against Dan's left shoulder, barely even touching it. He waited anxiously for Dan's reaction. Dan only responded by shifting closer, Phil's head now leaning more against the crook of his neck and head. Phil’s hair tickling Dan’s ear, but it didn’t matter.  
They settled like that, just laying on the soft carpet together for a while, both completely content with their closeness. At some point, they both fell asleep right there on the floor. And the next morning, they both woke up with a back pain from hell. But it was worth it.

 

Phil glanced anxiously at the clock. 9am. Dan would be at his doorstep any minute now. Phil had insisted that Dan didn't have to show up early. He knew how much his friend loved sleeping in, especially on a free day. 9am was an rare time for him to be awake. Especially since he'd probably had a late night last night due to his dorm building throwing a goodbye/christmas party. Poor guy probably had a hungover from hell this morning. But Dan had insisted that he wanted to get to Phil's place as early as possible so they would have all day together. An incredibly sweet gesture of course, but Phil still felt bad about agreeing to it.

He was interrupted by his phone notifying him that he'd gotten a text. It was Dan, of course, saying that he was outside his door. Phil found it amusing how he refused to just ring the doorbell. He would always text him instead. Dan argued that using the doorbell was "too formal". An argument that Phil was willing too agree on to some extent.

Phil strode over to his door with quick steps. Outside his door stood Dan, looking as perfect as ever. His regular black jeans hugging his long legs. Black jumper with a mildly festive snowflake pattern on it. Phil truly appreciated that he'd done his best to appear festive instead of coming up with a sarcastic excuse to dress normally. It was very sweet of him.  
What surprised Phil more however, was the mop of curls on Dan's head. Dan wasn't that embarrassed about showing his natural hair to Phil anymore. But that was when they were just hanging out at home. This time, Dan had actually been outside with curly hair. That never happened.

"Are you just gonna stand there all day or are you gonna let me in? I'd rather get in and hide before all your neighbors sees my horrific bird nest. They might use that against me someday. Blackmailing for example."  
Phil stepped aside to let Dan in, still confused.  
"Wouldn't want that to happen." Phil laughed. "Why exactly is your hair curly anyway?"  
"Piece of shit university turned the electricity off this morning. Guess they thought that everyone would've left at like 6am. Who do they think they are? Who the hell is that eager to get home for christmas? Apparently everyone except me. Couldn't straighten my fucking hair." Dan groaned whilst diving into his suitcase to look for the object.  
"That makes sense. I thought you'd gone crazy." Phil chuckled.  
"Hmm...not yet atleast. Aha! There you are my love." Dan exclaimed happily at the same time as he pulled out his straighteners from the bag. He kissed them dramatically and Phil rolled his eyes at him.  
"Love? Really? And I thought you couldn't get any more vain."  
"Hey, don't be mean to them. They save my life every single day. They deserve some respect Phil."

Phil rolled his eyes at him again. Dan walked over to the nearest plug socket, and was just about to plug his hair straightener in when Phil stopped him.  
"Please don't." Phil pleaded.  
"What?" Dan asked, confused.  
"Please don't straighten your hair. For me? Please, it's christmas. You look a bit like an elf with curly hair." Phil said in a soft voice.  
"But it's a complete disaster?" Dan tried. "I wanna look my best on christmas." But Phil refused to budge.  
"It looks fine Dan. It's just me. You and me. No one else is gonna see it." Phil tilted his head to the side and tried to make puppy eyes. "Pretty please?" he pleaded.  
Dan gave in with a sigh, and he put the straighteners aside. He could never resist Phil's puppy eyes. And Phil was right. Phil had seen him at his worst, so his messy hair wouldn't be a big deal.  
"Ugh, fine. But I will wear that santa hat you promised me just so I can hide it somehow."

As if on cue, Phil pulled a red santa hat out of nowhere and placed it onto Dan's head.  
Dan inspected himself in the mirror whilst Phil put an identical hat on his own head. Dan touched his own hat with a disapproving look on his face.  
"Sparkly santa hats? Really Phil. Really? This is the most flamboyant thing i have ever seen."  
"So? What's wrong with that? They were on sale and they were cute. C'mon, where's the festive spirit?" Phil looked at Dan innocently. And of curse Dan couldn't stay angry at him. He never could. Even if he bought strange hats.  
"Fine. But I really didn't need any more reason to look sexually ambiguous. I already look like the biggest twink ever." Dan sighed.  
"Atleast it covers most of my hair I guess." Dan tried desperately to tuck in as much hair as possible inside the hat. He had no other choice than to let his curly fringe stick out. He would look bald otherwise. And as much as he hated the curls, a bald look would be even worse. 

Phil felt his heart sink. He always tensed up on the topic of sexualities with Dan. After over a year of being best friends, he still wasn't 100% sure about where the other boy stood on the topic. He openly expressed that both boys and girls were hot. But Dan had a flirty personality. And on top of that, he was brilliantly sarcastic. Phil found it impossible to know whether he was joking or not on the matter. And Phil had never asked either. It was a mystery that caused Phil way too much worrying and over thinking.

"Appearance has nothing to do with sexuality, so no one has the right to judge you." Phil said simply. He didn't want to make the conversation a big deal. But he was also too curious on Dan's opinions to stop himself. Dan looked back into the mirror and striked a sort of pose.  
"True." he mumbled, still fiddling with the hat. "And since I obviously can't get away with looking like a real santa, I suppose I'll just have to embrace this huh? I'll just be a young, sexy santa instead." Dan striked a pose in an attempt to look sexy, making a duckface at the mirror.  
In Dan's mind, he was just playing to annoy Phil. Phil on the other hand, had to admit that it didn't look too bad when his friend attempted to look sexy. He quickly pushed his inappropriate thoughts away.

"You wish." Phil teased, trying to sound as casual as possible. Dan made a sound of annoyance. He pushed past Phil into the lounge and confidently strolled over to the sofa.  
"Since you're so mean to me, I'm gonna take up the whole sofa while we watch a movie. You can sit on the floor." He said with an amused smirk.  
"Hey, that's not fair. It's my sofa!"  
"Should've thought about that before you called me ugly." Dan had spread out his arms and legs, covering the entire couch with his body. Which wasn’t very difficult as he was a very tall person, and the couch was small with only two seats.  
"I never called you ugly." Phil pouted. Dan glanced away from the tv screen to look at him again, still refusing to budge.  
"You technically did. You said I wasn't sexy. That's basically the same as ugly."  
"Your logic is messed up."  
"Your mom is messed up." Dan grinned, very proud of his childish comment.  
"That's it, I'm sitting on your legs."  
And with that, Phil slumped down on his side of the couch, albeit sitting on Dan's legs.  
"Ao! Get away from me you spork. You're heavy!" Dan complained, trying to get his legs off the couch. Once he'd successfully done so, Phil sat down properly with a smile of victory.  
"You're the one paying the medical bills if my legs are broken." Dan muttered.  
"Fine with me. It was worth it." Phil grinned.

Dan flicked through the tv channels until he settled with Home Alone. They had only missed the first few minutes. Dan softly hummed along to the soundtrack.  
"And you're not ugly. I'd never call you ugly." Phil mumbled, barely loud enough to be heard over the speakers. But he just had to make sure Dan knew. Dan tensed and blushed, but Phil didn't notice.  
"Whatever you say." Dan mumbled as casually as he could. They settled into a silence to focus on the movie. Although, neither of them would be able to focus too much on the movie.

 

Two and a half movies later and an almost empty cookie jar, the two boys decided that it was time for their christmas dinner.  
As tempted as they had been to make an entire turkey and full on dinner by themselves, they had decided against it. Neither of them were that into turkey that they would've been able to eat an entire turkey before tomorrow morning. Not even with joint effort. And neither of them were that good at cooking. They would most likely end up burning the house down if they tried.  
Instead, they had decided to just order a pizza. 

 

"This feels wrong." Phil said before he bit into his warm pizza slice. Dan shook his head.  
"If this is what wrong tastes like, then I love the taste of wrong." he said before shoving his own slice into his mouth. He made an overdramatic moan whilst he chewed. "Fuck, this is better than any christmas dinner i've ever had in my entire life."  
"Not sure about that. My mom cooks a brilliant christmas dinner. You'd love it." Phil smiled at his childhood memories of eating way too much every single year. So much that he used to almost vomit on his new toys every year as a child.  
"My parents usually burns our christmas dinner. Then we have to call grandma and force her to come home and make something for us. Even if we interrupt her important bingo night at the church every single year. We still do that." Dan laughed a bit sadly. He admired how perfect Phil's family seemed. Of course Phil's mom made picture perfect, home cooked dinners at christmas. And any other day of the year.  
"One day I'm gonna find a way for you to taste it." Phil said simply. Dan frowned.  
"How would that work? We're gonna be on different sides of the country."  
"We'll make it work. I'll just kidnap you and force you to eat my mother's dinner."  
Dan snorted. "Pretty sure my parents would kill me, and you. Kidnapped or not"  
"True." Phil looked thoughtful for a moment. "Maybe one day we could celebrate christmas day together and invite all our families over. That would solve the problem." Phil laughed nervously. He knew how weird that must've sounded.  
"Yeah, maybe." Dan smiled shyly, picking some burnt bread off of his pizza slice. "Sounds nice."  
Phil almost choked on his pizza.  
"Really?" he asked, surprised. Dan tilted his head to the side, still looking at his pizza slice.  
"Yeah" Dan repeated. He looked up from his food. "I've had fun today. I wouldn't mind doing this more times." he explained shyly. Phil nodded.  
"Me too."  
"Let's do it if neither of us are married at...let's say 40?" Dan continued. Phil laughed.  
"That's an awful long time to wait for my mom's dinner."  
"Fine, what about 30?  
Phil pondered for a moment.  
"Nah, that's still very far away."  
"It is for me, but not for you. What is it, hmm, let me think. Approximately 6 years isn't it? Not far away now old man. Better get a wife asap Philip." Dan mocked.  
"Don't remind me." Phil shuddered at the thought. "Everyone else is already out getting married and having kids. Kids! Can you imagine me taking care of a child?" Phil asked in a panicked voice. Dan snorted.  
"Slow down Phil, you can barely take care of yourself yet." he grinned. "No one is forcing you to do all those things." he continued in a caring voice. "You can do whatever you want with your life. Ignore those other people. You do you."  
"How inspirational of you." Phil smiled. He wasn't used to his younger friend being the one to tell him that everything was gonna be okay. It was usually he who did that job.  
"I have my moments. Perhaps the christmas spirit has gone to my head."  
"Perhaps."

They continued eating in silence for a while. It was gradually getting darker outside, and the lit candle on the table was slowly becoming their main source of light apart from the tv.  
It was cosy. Almost romantic. Phil would lie if he denied that he didn’t wonder if this is what it would be like to be on a restaurant date with Dan.  
They would sit at a corner table. Face to face in a dimly lit room. A single candle between them. Feet intertwined beneath the table. Sharing food. Holding hands. A kiss or two.  
Phil’s heart was aching for that to happen one day. But for now, sharing pizza with Dan at his own dining table, was more than he could’ve ever hoped for.

“What are you dreaming about?” Dan asked with a smirk. Phil was immediately pulled out from his daydream. He realised that he’d been staring at the candle a bit too long. Phil coughed awkwardly.  
“Nothing.”  
“Didn’t look like nothing to me.”  
“What’s that suppose to mean?”  
“Nothing.” Dan stated innocently. “You just looked very dreamy. Like you were dreaming about someone special.”  
“I was not. Shut up.” Phil huffed. Dan laughed.  
“Alright Philly, no need to get defensive.” Dan teased. “I’m just saying. If you have a special someone, then i’d wanna know about it. I don’t know. I just hope that you wouldn’t keep it a secret from me. That’s all.”  
“I don’t have anyone special that I’m hiding from you Dan. I promise.” Phil assured him. But Dan still wasn’t sure.  
“It’s just... I don’t want to stand in your way. I’m here every fucking day and night. You should be out there, going on dates.” Dan gesticulated towards the big window. “I’m just a silly friend.”  
“Dan” Phil began.  
“I’m serious Phil.” he interrupted. “You’re in your prime years. Like you said, soon you’re gonna want to settle down. You need a girlfriend. Or just one night stands. That’s what you should be doing. Getting laid. Go get some. Play before you get old. Not listen to my stupid rants at night. Not that I actually know what happens when I’m not here. I’m not here every night.” He looked at Phil with worried eyes.  
“Oh god, I’m rambling again. I’m sorry.” Dan buried his face in his hands of embarrassment.

Phil had to take a moment to take in everything that had been said.  
“Dan.” he began softly. “I don’t want a girlfriend. Or one night stands.” he added nervously, a bit uncomfortable to talk about his sex life. Dan looked up from his hands shyly.  
“Really?”  
“Really. 100% sure.” Phil smiled.”You’re the best friend I’ve ever had. Even more than my, few, past exes. I’d much rather spend time with you.”  
Dan giggled awkwardly before he could stop himself.  
“Well. First off, you’re weird. Second of all, I don’t think you’re suppose to call your exes best friends. A couple can’t be best friends.”  
“Of course they can. They should be. What’s the point otherwise?”  
Dan shook his head.  
“A couple is a couple. Then you have a best friend on the side that you don’t date.”  
“Pretty sure that’s not how it works.”  
“Pretty sure it is.”  
“Your logic is messed up”  
“Your mom.”  
Phil picked up the last, forgotten slice of pizza from the box and launched it at Dan’s face. It bounced and landed on the floor. But some cheese was still stuck to Dan’s cheek.  
“Hey!”

 

After pizza, and a few hours of video games, it was finally time for the presents. They had agreed on only getting echother one present each. That way, there would be no competition. And most of all, neither would have to spend too much time buying presents. With big family christmas celebrations coming up, they had more than enough presents to worry about anyway. 

“Okay, who should go first?” Dan asked as he sat down on the floor by tree. Phil followed shortly after, slumping down on the floor aswell.  
“First of all, why can’t we sit on the couch? My butt hurts.” Phil whined.  
“Because immersion Phil.” Dan explained. “It’s not my fault that your butt hurts when you sit on it.” he retorted.  
Phil let out a snort before he had time to stop it. Dan stared at him in confusion. Then it suddenly clicked.  
“Oh my god, Phil! That’s...that’s not what I meant!” He playfully slapped his friend’s arm. Phil coughed, trying to gather himself. However, still grinning from ear to ear.  
“Sorry.”  
“And our viewers call me the dirty one. If only they knew about the dark, secret side of Phil Lester.” Dan shook his head in disappointment.  
“Nah. I’m saving that just for you.”  
“I’m honoured.”

They went back to giving eachother their presents. Dan immediately shook his small gift next to his ear with a curious grin. Phil was rubbish at wrapping. No one could deny that. The present looked more like a lump of paper than a present. Phil could never remember what flaps you were suppose to fold down where or how to tape it all together. It was clearly a talent that everybody in the world except Phil was born with.  
Phil felt a bit bad about his lack of skills when he looked down on the neatly wrapped christmas present placed on his lap. It was clearly much larger than the tiny object Dan held in his hands aswell.  
“You wanna go first?” Dan asked.  
“Oh, okay.”  
Phil started slowly unwrapping the squishy object. He was greeted by a big Totoro plushie.  
“I know it’s really silly, but i figured since you like plushies and stuff, you know-”  
“I love it Dan. Really. It’s the softest thing ever! Thank you so much.” Phil beamed whilst hugging the toy. Dan let out a laugh of relief.  
“Yeah you know, for when you get lonely at night. Seriously, your love life is the saddest and most dead thing that I have ever witnessed.”  
“Hey!” Phil chucked the wrapping paper at Dan.  
“Just saying.” Dan teased. “Anyway, my turn!”  
Dan was just about to rip the present apart when Phil stopped him.  
“Before you open it” he began. “I just wanna say that I do have a backup present incase you don’t want this one. And it’s completely fine if you don’t want it. I promise I won’t be mad.”  
“Why wouldn’t I like it? Phil, we like the exact same things. It’s fine.” Dan reassured.  
“You’ll see. Just open it.” 

Phil took a deep breath as Dan carefully tore the paper off. Dan stared at the small metal object in his hand.  
“A key?" he asked softly. “What for?”  
“My new apartment. You know how my lease expires after christmas. And we looked at my new apartment?”  
Dan nodded.  
“Well I...I kinda thought that maybe it could be our apartment. If you want to.” Phil swallowed thickly. Dan opened his mouth in surprise. He had never expected anything like this.  
“Are you serious? You want me to live with you?” he asked in shock.  
“Yeah. You hate your dorm, and you already spend all your time here. So why not?” Phil asked hopefully.  
Dan began grinning and suddenly he launched himself onto Phil, knocking them both down. Even though they were laying down, Dan squeezed Phil in a tight hug.  
“Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! You’re a lifesaver!” Dan exclaimed happily, nuzzling his head against Phil’s chest beneath him.  
“No problem.” Phil chuckled, shaking both their bodies.  
Dan gave a final squeeze and planted a quick kiss on Phil’s cheek. Both boys were equally as surprised by the action. They stared at eachother for a moment. Neither knew what to say or what to do. They were so close. They would hardly have to move to be able to connect lips. Just a little closer...

Dan jolted up. Cold, empty air filled the growing distance between their bodies.  
“It’s late and I’m tired. I think I’m going to bed. Early morning, you know.” Dan faked a yawn and stretched.  
Phil glanced over at the clock. It was close to midnight. A very early bedtime for Dan. But Phil wasn’t opposed to the idea of laying in bed alone with his thoughts right now.  
“Yeah me too.” He faked a yawn to convince his friend. 

After they’d turned all the lights off in Phil’s apartment, they went into the bedroom.  
“Ah, you finally got the lights?” Dan pointed at the colourful fairylights that rested around Phil’s headboard.  
“Oh, yeah. Didn’t think they would arrive before christmas, but here they are.” he laughed.  
“They’re really nice. Makes the room feel festive. Perhaps I should get fairylights for my new bedroom.” Dan pondered.  
“You should. I think it would look nice.” Phil grinned.  
Dan smiled brightly and returned to sorting out his bedsheets. Phil was still stood in the doorway when Dan glanced up at something above Phil.  
“Wait a minute, what is that? Is that a mistletoe?” Dan walked closer to get a better look. He was right. There, hung above the door, was a small mistletoe.  
“Oh uhm, yeah. I mean, it’s tradition, y’know?” Phil stuttered. He was hoping Dan wouldn’t notice the object in question. Or did he? He honestly didn’t know what he had wanted when he hung it up late last night.  
“Tradition my ass. I knew it, you do have a secret girlfriend!”  
“I thought I made it clear earlier that I clearly do not have a girlfriend, nor do I want one” Phil sighed. “You’re the one who said my love life is dead.”  
“True.” Dan chewed his lip, deep in thought. “But the only lady who comes through this door is your landlord. Oh my god Phil, you have a crush on mrs Baker?!” Dan exclaimed, trying to hold back a laughter.  
“Shut up, I do not!”  
“Hey hey” Dan held his hands up in defence. “I’m not judging. I know she’s in her 50′s, but she looks pretty good for her age.” Dan smirked.  
“I couldn’t care less about mrs Baker.” Phil defended. “As I said” he took a deep breath. “I don’t want a girlfriend.” He lingered on the last word, hoping Dan would get the point.  
“Oh.” Dan’s smirk disappeared. "So like" he began. "You like, want a boyfriend?" he asked softly.  
Phil could feel his heart beating harder and faster than ever. This was it. This could be the end of their friendship. But he just couldn't lie anymore. He didn't want to lie anymore.  
"Yeah. Maybe."  
Phil looked up at Dan anxiously. But there was no sign of hate in his expression. No sign of sarcasm. No sign of jokes. It was just...soft. Just...Dan.  
"Me too." Dan suddenly announced almost in inaudible.With two quick steps, Dan was stood next to Phil in the doorway. Dan glanced up at the mistletoe.  
"For tradition?" Dan asked with a shaky breath. Phil slowly nodded.  
"For tradition." Phil repeated.Their lips touched for the first time. Dan's lips were warm and plump, but also slightly chapped. They were always chapped during winter. Phil's lips were cold, but much softer than Dan had imagined.  
The kiss lasted for only a few seconds before they pulled apart, with foreheads still leaning against eachother.  
"We're still standing under the mistletoe." Dan pointed out. "I guess we have to do it again. It's tradition. I'm a man of traditions." he smirked.  
"Didn't know tradition was so important to you. I would've done it before if I had known." Phil grinned.  
"You should've." Dan said quietly in a more serious tone. "I would never say no to you." They both smiled sadly, glancing into eachothers eyes as if it was the first time. It almost felt like it was the first time. Atleast the first time they'd done it properly.  
"I wish I had." Phil said sadly. He then leaned in and closed the gap between them again. This time, the kiss lasted longer. Hands were touching cheeks, hair, hands, and shirts. It was better than anything they had ever imagined it would be like.

 

"I love you." Phil said. They laid cuddled up in Phil's bed. Arm's and legs innocently tangled. Dan's head resting on Phil's shoulder. Dan stopped placing lazy kisses on the area when he heard Phil's words.  
"Really?" he asked with surprise. Phil smiled down at him and nodded.  
"Of course I do. I think I have since the first time we met. It just took some time for me to realise."  
Dan nodded.  
"Yeah. Same here. I've never had a best friend or a boyfriend before. I didn't know really know the difference between those feelings until today I think." Dan rolled over on his stomach, and held himself up with his arms so he could look at Phil while he was talking.  
"Today, I realised that I want to spend every christmas with you. Not just christmas, but every single day. I don't think you're suppose to feel like that with just friends." he continued. "And well, kissing you wasn't disgusting like I thought it would've been." he chuckled.  
"Hey!" Phil playfully hit his arm. "I'm not that gross, am I?" he asked with worry. Dan shook his head.  
"No no, of course not." he laughed. "I just thought it would be a bit weird I guess. I've only kissed one boy before, at a party a few years ago. I thought it was a bit gross back then. I suppose it was because I had no feelings for him. And I was drunk. But I was still scared that it would be the same with you."  
"Was it?"  
"No, god no! Of course not. I love your kisses." Dan smiled. To prove his point, he leaned down and connected their lips for probably the hundredth time that night. Atleast it felt like it.  
"Good, cause I happen to like your kisses very much aswell." Phil said once they'd pulled apart. "But as much as I like our kisses, I'm so tired that I think my eyeballs are gonna fall out if I don't sleep now."  
Dan laughed and leaned in for a last goodnight kiss. They settled back into their previous cuddling position. "I love you too Phil." Dan said once they'd settled down. Phil grinned in the dark.  
"Thank you." he replied, not knowing what else to say.  
"I don't think you're suppose to say thank you when someone says they love you." Dan sighed.  
"Why not? I mean it." Phil could almost hear Dan roll his eyes at him in the dark.  
"I'm sure you do, but that's not the point. It just sounds weird. It's like you're breaking an ancient rule of love language."  
"I don't think such rules exist Dan." he snorted. "And when have we ever lived by the rules of love anyway? I don't think our situation is very common." he noted.  
"That's very true I suppose. I'm too tired to argue with you about it right now anyway." Dan yawned as if on cue. "We'll finish this tomorrow."  
"Okay." Phil planted a kiss onto Dan's messy hair.  
"Goodnight Dan. Love you."  
Dan hummed sleepily.  
"Goodnight Phil. Love you."


End file.
